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A brief history of invasive fish species in the Mississippi River and their impact on China trade  

40Deuce 46M
4634 posts
9/16/2018 10:56 am

Last Read:
9/17/2018 4:41 pm

A brief history of invasive fish species in the Mississippi River and their impact on China trade

The best way to catch Mississippi catfish is with live bait . Back in the 70's fisherfolk (people who fish not anthropomorphic fishers , which would be awesome) decided that a good live bait fish would be the Asiatic carp which is a colloquial term for several species of heavy-bodied cyprinid fishes (FYI "heavy-bodied" is what I'm going to start using to describe my physique) . Much like when the Jin dynasty in China let the Mongols south of the Great Wall this turned out not to be a great idea . Some of the bait fish escaped (like my left ball when I wear jockeys shorts) and finding they were better than all the other fish around conquered the mighty Mississippi like rampaging Mongol hordes (is that racist ? sorry Mongolians) . This is bad if you care about the environment (which let's be honest , you don't) but it's good news if you like sweet-sweet cash . Because exporting Asiatic carp to China is big money (is that ironic ? no , but it's something) .

Some kinds of Asiatic carp have become famous for being easily frightened by boats and personal watercraft , causing them to leap high into the air (like Michael Jordan , racist ? Sorry Michael Jordan) . They can easily jump 8 to 10 feet into the air and numerous boaters have been severely injured by collisions with the fish . According to the DNR "reported injuries include cuts from fins , black eyes , broken bones , back injuries and concussions (like your football heroes ! )."

If you're a lady and you have a black eye from getting hit by a flying carp is anyone going to believe your husband didn't punch you ?

Why do I bring this up ? No reason really . Oh wait , there was one reason . Remember that time I saved a dumb lizard for dying in the harsh April winter of Iowa ? Of course you do . That seemed super weird at the time but it turns out it was only kind of weird . The Argentine black and white tegu (which I think is what I found) is currently invading the Southern states like the Normans invaded England in 1066 (no apologies you dirty Normans) . People get them as pets then , as like the jerks they are , get tied of them and chuck them out the window - but like Liam Niesen in Taken franchise these lizards aren't going to take that sitting down . Survive they did (ironically they're probably better off given the "care" many people give to their lizard pets) and they've spread from Texas to the Carolinas . Because they are the superior organism . Much like the Asiatic carp they are destroying the "natural" wildlife because they're better .

I'm not sure how I feel about invasive species and the fight against them . I mean first of all humans are surely the most destructive invasive species of all time - if only the Caribbean monk seal had acted more quickly to keep humans out of their ecosystem we wouldn't be in this mess . But you know how Monk seals are with their bickering . Actually you don't because they're all dead and they're never coming back , but trust me . But the other piece - isn't that what evolution is about ? I mean the Asiatic carp is winning right ? Why should we interfere with that ?

Fun fact if you encounter a tegu in the "wilds" of the American South its going to give you 3 warnings before charging and biting your face off . First it will hiss - like a cat or a old lady at the movies . Second it will lash it's tail about - like a cat or a drunk lady in a catsuit on Halloween . People often mistake the lashing tail for a snake because said Tegu is in tall grass or whatnot . Thirdly it will stamp it's front feet like a bull about to charge or a angry little who doesn't get ice cream . At that point if you're still around I feel like you want you face bitten off .



I'm thinking about buying a bunch of these and just wearing them around instead of pants . These are of course Diamond MMA Athletic Cup Groin Protector & Compression Shorts System with Built-in Jock Strap . It's a SYSTEM people . And if someone comments on it I'll try to get them in an armbar .

I heard someone say 'noroc' the other day . According to the world wide web this means luck in Romanian . It's also a music group from Moldavia . It's also a DOTorg with a mission to offer new opportunities for spiritual , physical , educational and emotional growth so that at-risk Romanian institutionalized may escape cycles of poverty , dependency and abuse , and may become independent adults who can nurture meaningful relationships and contribute to their communities . I wonder in which context this person was speaking .



This is a fisher BTW . They're 100% adorbs but they'll tear your lungs out if you mess with them . They mostly eat hares and porcupines . They have a decent range in Canada where people don't want to live so unlike 90% of other animals they probably won't go extinct in your lifetime . Probably .


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40Deuce 46M
5725 posts
9/16/2018 10:58 am

Fisher had some action going in the US after being trapped out of existence in the 1800s (as per usual) but marijuana farming put and end to that . When you grow marijuana you need to put out rat poison to keep rats from eating your weed and fishers also think that rat poison sounds delicious .

Putting clients first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put clients (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.


smartasswoman 66F  
35813 posts
9/16/2018 11:35 am

I guess you're lucky that lizard didn't bite your face off when you rescued it (which would have been an ungrateful thing for it to do).

Those shorts would definitely prevent thigh rub, although I'm not sure you really need a groin protector for fast walking on the treadmill. But maybe you need a groin protector in other situations, I don't know.


40Deuce replies on 9/17/2018 4:42 pm:
I'm sure it would have if it was warm enough to move - go mammals !

superbjversion2 68F  
24388 posts
9/16/2018 5:47 pm

Darn those invasive goldfish! Hm. I wonder though if they eat zebra mussels?

Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!


40Deuce replies on 9/17/2018 4:42 pm:
They need to import zebras for that

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