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NottyNum50 56M

12/29/2018 1:55 pm

some wisdom comes at a price


mindworker1970 53M
328 posts
12/29/2018 2:08 pm

It is never easy to let people you love make mistakes, but you need to let your kids start having to deal with the consequences of their choices. They will always expect you to bail them out and that is no fair for you.


HoHowdy 62M
1279 posts
12/29/2018 2:24 pm

Learning life's lessons can be quite painful at times.


jajo696 113F
4287 posts
12/29/2018 3:02 pm

Being 18, with MH issues AND living 3 hrs away....is enuff worry for anyone. I mean what 18 year old without MH issues is ready to live completely on their own. Considering all the research says that young minds arent finished developing till 26/ 27....she is not fully cooked yet and is on simmer.

While i agree with what is said here....i also know that you cant do it....completely.

How abt meeting her half way and give her a monthly budget of time and of $$$. She knows that mom only has ? this much to spend on me....and this ? many hours to rescue me. Of course she will take advantage and use it all up the first few months, but after that....especially if you have stuck to the plan and not spent or rescued her beyond the agreement.....she should be on her way to making better choices. Also has she been assessed for meds to slow her and the impulsivity down? Will she let you invest or put aside the remainder of the inheritance....or is it gone. I keep coming back to....she is 18...still very young. Whether she accepts it or not...she still needs guidance from afar. All 18 yr olds do. its like one foot in babyhood and the other in adulthood. Some adult needs to monitor things...maybe another....to keep you out of it. Just sorta rambling here... I just know how difficult it is.

I agree....ugh! to the nth degree

Good luck ~~


FMAOPLS 70F
27112 posts
12/29/2018 3:12 pm

If Mom keeps bailing her out, and "saving her from herself", how is she ever going to learn the consequences of her actions?

Check out my profile or and become a "watcher" of my blog FMAOPLS,to learn more about me, and for intelligent, lively, smartassy and fun discussion, with a little irreverence thrown in. "Like" or comment on my photos, and I promise I'll add more. Thanks.


mc_justmc 63M

12/29/2018 3:37 pm

I understand this is hard on you, but considering where she was a couple of years ago, this sounds like she has made huge progress. Living on her own and buying a car is so much better than what I remember.


pocogato12 71F  
37235 posts
12/29/2018 4:01 pm

Ugh does not touch it. I have a very close friend with a 24 yo son. The father is paying his car insurance and his health insurance STILL. The kid has never gone to the doctor for a routine physical- so the health insurance is a total waste of money. He got his own apartment and keeps texting his father for money. You guessed it- he gets it!!! And he has been told numerous times to get a better job. This is not a stupid young adult but he is still delivering pizza. And still mooching
The more parents do to enable the child to use them the longer it will go on and the child will never learn to think for themselves and the parent will always be venting

(Virtual Symposium Group) use Virtual Symposium Group


lok4fun500 M
51906 posts
12/29/2018 4:22 pm

Just because one is 18, doesn't mean they are a mature adult!!!
A good example is the person ruling our neighboring country!


HowzAboutFun4Us 59M
122 posts
2/11/2019 10:16 am

not to get stuck in the weeds of insurance coverage... but isn't glass coverage pretty standard on policies?

I don't think there's even a deductible, they just replace it... and doesn't affect your insurance rate either... not sure how things work up in Canada though....


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