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Nice Guy – the online equivalent of a Certificate of Participation  

VenusRedux2 49F
276 posts
2/23/2017 10:17 am
Nice Guy – the online equivalent of a Certificate of Participation







Mr. Nice Guy Syndrome

A common online obsessive disorder whereby a man feels a compulsive need to qualify himself as a Nice Guy at every chance and to to every girl he talks to online, often doing so to a fault as all other positive personality traits are given no priority whatsoever.




You know what I’ve learned after all my years of being online? Most guys I come in contact with are decent, kind, respectable people. Even the ones that come on strong can often be calmed down in short order. You’re pretty much all nice guys.

Yet, despite that, “Nice guys finish last.” This is, unfortunately, a very true statement. Nice guys tend to be BORING. They consistently opt for the ‘safe’ choice at every point in the conversation. Things never get interesting with them. They manage to say nothing wrong, but at a cost of never saying anything right either.

Yet all you guys here are tripping all over yourselves trying to prove to me that you fit this mold of Nice Guy despite the fact that it gets you nowhere.

Don’t women want a nice guy? Of course.

Don’t women worry that deep down, you’re really not a nice guy? Of course.

Should you therefore conclude you should be telling me your a nice guy every chance you get? Oh Hell No!

Here’s what women often say when they like a guy: “He’s handsome, smart, thoughtful, likes Netflix documentaries as much as I do … and he’s a Nice Guy”

So, after hearing this, men start telling every girl he meets online “Hey, I meet the criteria you’re looking for, I’m a Nice Guy, we should hook up.”

You’d think this goes without saying, but Nice Guy wasn’t exactly the only thing she saw in the guy. So why focus on that to the exclusion of the others? That’s exactly what Mr. Nice Guy Syndrome does.

EVERYONE claims to be a Nice Guy. And to your credit, most of you guys actually are. But what does that tell me? Precisely nothing.

If you’re telling me you’re a nice guy, that means you’re not showing me. Never tell, always show. Let the woman come to the conclusion on her own. By self-congratulating yourself, you forfeit any points you would have otherwise scored for having such an attribute.

Think about it, do confident men walk around telling women they’re confident? That would be not only be silly, it actually betrays a LACK of that quality.

‘Nice’ is the online equivalent of a Certificate of Participation. Everyone gets one. And since everyone has one, it isn’t special. It isn’t noteworthy. It isn’t anything to be proud of. You don’t put that on a resume or hang it on the refrigerator door.

So why are you guys waving this Nice Guy award around proudly? It’s not setting you apart from the crowd, it is defining you precisely as being part of the crowd.

I’m not saying don’t be a nice guy. What I’m saying is that Nice Guy is a very low bar to reach. Set your sights higher. Show me qualities that will impress me more than ‘nice.’

Don’t be that guy who puts Mr. Nice Guy on display and never shows me anything more. Be fun and flirty. Be thoughtful and insightful. Be whatever you want. Just don’t be Nice and only Nice.



Rondoon123 63M
32 posts
3/31/2017 4:32 pm

Very good insight VenusR.
I know for some it is safe to be the nice guy, but it is a bit of the "Bad Boy" that this site brings out in me.....
I find that this is what works for me anyways.

Grrrrr baby, yeah!!

R.


VenusRedux2 replies on 4/1/2017 6:17 am:
At least it is working for you. So many people are complaining that it isn't.

greekphilosopher 61M
4077 posts
2/23/2017 2:48 pm

If you have not found your bad boy yet, out of a 100-200 men for each woman in here, you might try to start dating them. Get them drunk enough and you will find your bad boy. If he is just too bad, abandon on the spot and go home. If he is a bad boy but a nice guy, date again to make sure with even less/or more drink! Of course women like a nice guy. As much men like a nice gal. But excitement comes more often from the bad ones.


keithcancook 67M
18358 posts
2/23/2017 2:21 pm

Grrr! kooc! Git back in yer box or there'll be no new straw for you come Christmas!

Sorry about that Venus. Doncha just hate it when yer evil twin gets out?

Blog on!


koocnachtiek 67M
380 posts
2/23/2017 2:13 pm

I couldn't agree more. My master is one of these "nice guy" types. A consequence of being raised with 3 sisters, or so he claims. Of course he never gets us laid. If he'd only let me run the show we'd have pussy galore.

But noooo. He's cruel too. He keeps me in this little box and never lets me out. I'm smarter than... oh! oh! Here he comes now! I gotta jet...

Is this just another trick by keithcancook
to get his text on television?


Woodyeverready 65M
1187 posts
2/23/2017 1:44 pm

Duly noted.

Woodrow J. Evers


s2ndegree 65M
9800 posts
2/23/2017 12:45 pm

Would that include the good guys with enough backbone to disagree with a few of your musings just for arguments sake.You know the ones that aren't henpecked and would never disagree with you.Like the dozens of representatives already here.Doormats!

Using more than all the road!


VenusRedux2 replies on 2/23/2017 1:07 pm:
Well, don't do that just for argument's sake. Do it because you genuinely believe it.

flowerkings2012 60M
4312 posts
2/23/2017 12:44 pm

Interesting and fair observation. I was expecting to be linked more to the guys who are utterly, insufferably obsequious and think they are so nice and right on that they're feminists.

You know, like the loony lefties who love all things Islam


VenusRedux2 replies on 2/23/2017 1:11 pm:
There certainly is that aspect to it. Nice Guy Syndrome can be fun to watch if they think they have competition, especially unseen competition. It becomes a race to prove they're the bigger and better sycophant than their imaginary foe.

Pringles0510 49F
313 posts
2/23/2017 10:53 am

Well said!

I prefer a respectful manly "bad boy"

x


VenusRedux2 replies on 2/23/2017 11:37 am:
Don't we all. Anything to get the conversation to a much more exciting place.

VenusRedux2 49F
557 posts
2/23/2017 10:20 am

Just a thought I had after having a conversation with someone for nearly 45 minutes and all I took away from it was "He's a nice guy"


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