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you better not never tell nobody but God  

wickedeasy 74F
11076 posts
3/28/2018 2:37 pm
you better not never tell nobody but God


You better not never tell nobody but God.

Ships at a distance have every man’s wish on board.

They shoot the white girl first.

Now I believe they will leave me alone.

Opening lines were once my way to decide if I would take a book under my arm and carry it home with me. Over time I decide I was being hasty and expanded to a chapter but I will admit, an opening line is often enough which brings me to my rant for the month of march. Unlike most of the women here who are inundated with emails and requests for sex, I receive relatively few. My profile clearly states I am not looking for a hookup, I have no half naked or seductive pics, and I will not step on another woman’s toes.

Oh yeah….i’m also 68 which is damn near 70 which is daunting except apparently for men under 35 who for some reason find it appealing. Go figure.

On the rare occasion I have sent an email, I ask questions which necessitate a reply. My opening line while not as glorious as the ones above ranges from disturbed, retiree seeking solace to masochistic pain slut in need of sadist. My replies are few. i am open to suggestions

I figure I need to find that person willing to see humor in the crone who still needs to get off. We all need a little nookie, right? So why do old men with saggy bottoms/balls get it more than old women with elongated titties? Not saying mine are elongated just stereotyping. Mine are so damn perky. All those towers of pain really helped.

Okay, i really am getting to the point. Sex is sexist. And ageist. Did I spell that wrong but take out the e and it looks really really wrong. Y’all know what I’m trying for anyway. Women live longer then men and despite rumors to the contrary, we really do like shtupping. All that madonna stuff is just you men wanting the cake and eating it too, or was it pie……..never mind. Although pie makes more sense when you think about it. All the juices, yanno?

Largest sales of sex toys? elderly women. HA! You should see the ads in AARP, curl your hair.

Okay, I made that up. but it could be true. I buy a LOT. So if you can deal with a little under arm flap KNOWING that you will get a great home cooked meal from an indulgent lover who has years of experience (nudge, nudge, wink, wink)….

And remember, once she takes out those dentures……….sweet JAYSUS.

Okay – no one get their knickers in a twist. I’m just having a bit of fun at my own expense. And no, I don’t have dentures, although I might consider getting them if it’s a deal breaker.

You cannot conceive the many without the one.


wickedeasy 74F
32404 posts
3/28/2018 2:38 pm

just here to be offensive..............did i do good?

You cannot conceive the many without the one.


Tmptrzz 61F  
107039 posts
3/28/2018 2:44 pm

You know hun everyone needs sex it doesn't matter what age you are, and there are a lot of Seniors as I like to call them that enjoy it probably more than the younger set but maybe I'm wrong. It amazes me some of the things that get sent to our emails, on our blogs but what can we do? Do we reply usually NOT depending on what's sent to us. I wish you all the best and I hope you find that hot sexy partner that your looking for..

Seduce the mind and see what a wonderful adventure the body will take you on..


wickedeasy replies on 4/5/2018 1:14 pm:
you are so sweet - i'm not looking so this was just for fun.

XHamburgDave 80M
10466 posts
3/28/2018 2:58 pm

You are my type of Girl WE, you still have a pulse

Please visit my Blog "Older but no Wiser"


wickedeasy replies on 4/5/2018 1:14 pm:
setting that bar kinda low Dave....

TicklePlease 56F  
13851 posts
3/28/2018 3:10 pm

Good thing you got the rant in before you ran out of month!

I don't think there IS a better opening line than "disturbed retiree seeking solace." Makes me wish I was retired!


wickedeasy replies on 4/5/2018 1:15 pm:
well now, i like to start off easy and then scare the shit out of them when they arrive

Hardupfosho 48M
1727 posts
3/28/2018 3:51 pm

Hehe awesome!

I had to look up 'towers of pain'. It took a while because of some mountains called ''Paine''. Anyway, kinky. (Not the mountains). And all this time I've been using my hands


wickedeasy replies on 4/5/2018 1:18 pm:
snork............did it make you cringe?

anyway - this was all in good fun. just a reminder that sex over 60 is not verboten.

LadyLuck2 67F  
9091 posts
3/28/2018 3:51 pm

I completely agree. Men need to borrow a full length mirror and stand in front of it with the lights on! They need to exit Fantasyland and start looking at women in their own age group who have the exact same needs. Then follow up an email with a date! They'd be so pleasantly surprised!

Never ignore those who care for you
you will have lost diamonds
while you were collecting stones


wickedeasy replies on 4/5/2018 1:19 pm:
i know!

we're so damn good looking, articulate, have our own cars, houses even and usually the kids are gone. it's a bloody jackpot.

lindoboy100 61M
23969 posts
3/28/2018 4:55 pm

Dearie me McWickster, I'm crying with laughter and crying with crying, at the same time, how did that happen.......!??

I dinna understand this need for people (usually men) to shag women ridiculously younger than themselves. I've always believed that there is nothing in life more beautiful than a mature woman maturing gracefully, and beauty is next to sexyness, no? And I find large age difference a little odd, and definitely unappealing.

While I recognise that our available choices for partners may well diminish with age, I find it strange that it seems to be such a struggle to find a partner. I mean, we're no f'n deid likes!!

ps - a 'gammie' over here is a blow job, and also refers to having nae teeth!! go on, giz a gammie!!


wickedeasy replies on 4/5/2018 1:22 pm:
a gammie..............oh god i am so goanna use that.

and dinna fret my friend. i get plenty of action, i just wanted to make the point that people of a certain age are still hot and hot to trot. hell those retirement homes are jumpin'

justskin1 72M
13175 posts
3/28/2018 5:38 pm

As a man in his mid 60s I certainly cannot figure why a man in his fifties wants a woman in her twenties and thirties. I have always suspected that for most they feel the need show they can get young chicks so they are not so old. Then again some may know in the most closeted part of their ego that no woman over 50 would be dumb enough to put up with their immature ways.

The only thing I do know about it is I want a woman of mature years. Over 50 certainly and better over 60. Yes their beauty is not of a type celebrated by most magazines but lord so many are so beautiful in so many ways and just as in need of the warmth of sex as I or most any other human is.

If you see me in the real world, come say "Hi Justskin."

I always behave. Preferably not well.


wickedeasy replies on 4/5/2018 1:23 pm:
well good for you but then maybe you are more aware than most.

or maybe you are just playing the odds............winks

iwalkstilts 48M
2869 posts
3/28/2018 5:44 pm

I'm 42 and I gotta say the mature women are waaayyyy better.
First of all, they know more and not just about sex.
Second,they are women not girls.
I'm seeing a 54 yr old woman and last night n this morning the sex was fantastic!
I haven't looked at your pics but I'd meet ya for a date just because this post is so excellent and entertaining.
😘


wickedeasy replies on 4/5/2018 1:24 pm:
well that's very kind of you but i'm booked solid.

Januaryman99 55M  
327 posts
3/28/2018 7:17 pm

I'ma run an social experiment, flood your inbox with bad lines and plant a picket fence of dick pics on your front lawn. Near as I can tell, from all I read, that's how you're supposed to do it around here. Brace yourself.

Stop by my BLOG => Januaryman99


wickedeasy replies on 4/5/2018 1:24 pm:
lmao.

double dog dare ya

lok4fun500 M
51906 posts
3/28/2018 9:07 pm

[image]dentures you say!!!
I might have ....BUT...
they are


wickedeasy replies on 4/5/2018 1:28 pm:
i love balls. it's an odd fascination but i really do. i often play with a man's balls for a good long time before i get to his.......sorry i drifted off there.

SeaGirlFL 60F
9220 posts
3/29/2018 5:01 am

Brilliant.

The dentures...omg...laughing til I'm crying here. (I'd think men would LOVE that...they are always complaining about teeth being a real turn off during a blow job, lol!)

An original opening line in an email will always get my attention. I'm quite tired of the entire email consisting of "Hi". Seriously. That is all that you were inspired to say??

My mind needs to be seduced way the hell before you get into my panties...and "Hi" isn't going to cut it. Just sayin'.

"Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is relax." – Mark Black


wickedeasy replies on 4/5/2018 1:29 pm:
i know, right? be creative or even just wordy

smartasswoman 66F  
35813 posts
3/30/2018 6:03 am

Under arm flap...lol...also turkey neck in my case. 🦃 and poochy stomach. Ain’t it grand?


wickedeasy replies on 4/5/2018 1:32 pm:
lol..............it is what it is. it's a body that has been through life. mine has so many scars it's like some kind of syfy monster. but so what? it works just fine, thank you very much and i know stuff that will blow your hair back.........

sweet_VM 65F
81699 posts
3/30/2018 7:30 am

You go girl. Mature ladies are hot and sexy hugs V

Become a blog watcher sweet_vm


wickedeasy replies on 4/5/2018 1:32 pm:
you betcha

pocogato12 71F  
37235 posts
3/30/2018 12:40 pm

this opened my laughter floodgate. I couldn't "screw" right now but that does not mean i'm not willing LOL who needs a right foot to fuck- come on fellas there's a live one awaitin' in Maine

(Virtual Symposium Group) use Virtual Symposium Group


wickedeasy replies on 4/5/2018 1:33 pm:
and damn if she ain't a hotsy totsy and smart as a whip

XHamburgDave 80M
10466 posts
4/5/2018 2:03 pm

wickedeasy replies on 4/5/2018 9:14 pm:
setting that bar kinda low Dave....

I always shoot for the Stars, but it is a long way to fall if I don't catch one


Please visit my Blog "Older but no Wiser"


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