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when the quiet makes you worry  

wickedeasy 74F
11076 posts
8/15/2018 2:31 pm
when the quiet makes you worry

here I . right here
why does no one see me here
here is where I was a haiku for loss

last night I saw upon the stair.
a little man who wasn't there
he wasn't there again today
oh how I wish he'd go away

do you remember that poem from your childhood? it scared me then, it scares me now. I met a today at a shelter who was about 18 months and had no words, not a single one. the biggest blue eyes and so limp. like a toy , like the stuffing was missing. I took him from the mom who was busy filling out paperwork and held him against my shoulder rubbing circles on his back, then I put him down on my legs and started to move his arms and legs.

no one was paying us any mind because they were involved, but as I made noises and continued to stimulate, he began to engage. I pumped his legs and he reacted, I oooed and he made a noise, I held his hand to my mouth and blew on it and he was surprised. I picked up a fuzzy toy and rubbed t on his bare feet. I felt a bit like Dr. Frankenstein waking up the monster. I had no idea what kind of days this had lived but he was in there. we see intense depression as young as three months ...failure to thrive, babies so thin, so withdrawn from the world.

being homeless takes a toll on everyone. Parents can't be great parents when their days are consumed with trying to find work, housing, or barely surviving with little ones on the street. babies learn to become quiet, passive, they don't demand, they just wait. older learn to fight, steal, for what they need. Fear is everywhere, blankets everything.

Remember your 18 moth old? into everything, a 14 hour chase to see who finished first you, or him. but these babies....you have to work to give them back that lil devil inside.

there is nothing, nothing more normal than a throwing a hissy fit. I see one and I give the mom a hug, pat the lil monster on the head and smile. it's when they're all quiet that I worry...…….yanno? hey at least my didn't do it here:



You cannot conceive the many without the one.


wickedeasy 74F
32404 posts
8/15/2018 2:32 pm

sometimes a tantrum is better than that eery quiet

You cannot conceive the many without the one.


Tmptrzz 61F  
107039 posts
8/15/2018 2:38 pm

Everyone deserves a place to live, being homeless really sucks and when your children aren't with your family that's even worse. Happy Hump Day my friend..

Seduce the mind and see what a wonderful adventure the body will take you on..


wickedeasy replies on 8/23/2018 12:10 pm:
family shelters are so crowded and now HUD has been told by the president to stop the flow of money for housing. more shelters is not the answer. it's part of the answer but just part of it.

superbjversion2 68F  
24388 posts
8/15/2018 3:03 pm

A quiet child is never a normal thing. Neglected or ill or into to something they shouldn't.

Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!


wickedeasy replies on 8/23/2018 12:11 pm:
so very true. my mama used to say quiet children are a sure sign of trouble.

positively4you 74F  
4605 posts
8/15/2018 7:13 pm

Imagine when that little girl grows up and is told......and here is when you met the President and First Lady. So cute.
Those poor kids. Too many of them need our help.


wickedeasy replies on 8/23/2018 12:13 pm:
snork - I know. best story ever.

this administration is stripping the help to the homeless and the poor like none other before it. it makes my heart ache.

smartasswoman 66F  
35813 posts
8/15/2018 8:26 pm

Bless you for taking the time to interact with that child.

I've read that one of the things that helps kids be resilient in harsh circumstances is contact with a caring adult - no matter how brief. Even a sympathetic stranger on a bus.


wickedeasy replies on 8/23/2018 12:18 pm:
kids need interaction especially when very young. it's hard to give it when you (as a parent) are bereft. the cycle is brutal. we had groups of volunteers who came in three times a week to play with the kids...just play. fully vetted, most with degrees in child psychology. babies as young as three months old who showed signs of clinical depression...it just sucks.

FMAOPLS 70F
27112 posts
8/15/2018 9:57 pm

This is a story that more people need to hear. It will make every parent feel blessed for the times their children pitched hissey fits.

For a brief time in this child's young life, you made a difference.

Check out my profile or and become a "watcher" of my blog FMAOPLS,to learn more about me, and for intelligent, lively, smartassy and fun discussion, with a little irreverence thrown in. "Like" or comment on my photos, and I promise I'll add more. Thanks.


wickedeasy replies on 8/23/2018 12:19 pm:
it's not impossible to make a difference but it needs constant reinforcement. that's what is key. the hookup to services and training mom

LakeRidgeBBWSeek 63M
3847 posts
8/15/2018 11:53 pm

When I was a child, my parents took me to DC, and I met JFK while on the White House tour. Now I WAS wearing my fave hat, one of my dads, old sailor caps, so maybe that was why I was singled out? I dunno, can barely remember it actually, but it made a BIG impression on my dad, who had voted for Ni on, because he didnt think a serviceman should use his war record to get into office. My mom of course voted for JFK, so their votes canceled each other, lol, but my dad for some reason was very impressed that JFK took my small hand and shook it, like I was an important voter. I believe he voted 'dim' for the rest of his life !


wickedeasy replies on 8/23/2018 12:22 pm:
what a splendid memory to have. I remember my Da taking me to work and while it was truly boring (he was an engineer) the trip on the subway, the fuss people made and the lunch we had (just us, no one else) will remain one of my red letter days forever.

ArglBargl14 61M

8/17/2018 5:30 am

Oh, the humanity.

I mean that for you, for all that you do; for that child and what he has been through; and for that photo and how much I miss the humanity.


wickedeasy replies on 8/23/2018 12:24 pm:
I know. it's there, it's everywhere. so many people trying to keep the light shining in a million different ways.

the bitch is, there are so many damn people pissing on the matches.

sweet_VM 65F
81699 posts
8/19/2018 8:52 am

You are a wonderful person wicked taking the time to spend with this child. Ty for sharing hugs V

Become a blog watcher sweet_vm


wickedeasy replies on 8/23/2018 12:26 pm:
no, i'm not. i'm a woman who took advantage of a moment to bring some light back into my soul. I got more than I gave, believe me.

christylovesfun 51F  
16880 posts
8/22/2018 10:57 am

I love you so much.

Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale
Her infinite variety. Other women cloy
The appetites they feed, but she makes hungry
Where most she satisfies. For vilest things
Become themselves in her, that the holy priests
Bless her when she is riggish. ~~ from Antony & Cleopatra


wickedeasy replies on 8/23/2018 12:29 pm:
I love you too. I wish I could express how much it meant to me to know that there was hope there and with time, we could bring light back into this child. Sis, sometimes lately, it's so damn dark out there, I just needed a little miracle like this. I felt kind of greedy, like I didn't want to hand that child back. smh.

SeaGirlFL 60F
9220 posts
9/2/2018 8:28 am

I am so in awe of the work you do. My heart would break every day and I would be no use to anyone.

The small ones always catch my attention. I love when they wave back or shyly smile as I play peekaboo. What is better than a smiling child?

I think I will view those public temper tantrums a lot differently. That is so much better than a haunted, quiet child.

"Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is relax." – Mark Black


wickedeasy replies on 9/4/2018 12:44 pm:
I know. a child with no imp in their eyes? something's wrong.

kzoopair 72M/71F
25831 posts
9/8/2018 11:18 pm

Bless you wicked. We have a good friend who was a war orphan and has no idea who her birth family was. The folks who adopted her couldn't deal with a thing so simple as to show her love and affection. It's heartbreaking. Children need that to be healthy.

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