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Douche List
Posted:Mar 16, 2016 2:26 pm
Last Updated:Nov 1, 2018 1:31 pm
17218 Views

We've been thinking about doing this for a while now. It's not somethign we plan to be proud of but it's a necessary evil with no user feedback on most folks profiles. Only the more extreme examples of douche baggery will make the list, so if we put them here, it's for a good reason.

Here's the first entry...

readytoplay28792 is a douche.
Sent a dick pic, we turned him down and he went off on a angry rant calling me a fat cow.
63 Comments
Looking for love... here?
Posted:Oct 26, 2018 1:37 pm
Last Updated:Oct 29, 2018 3:54 pm
510 Views

Every now and then on Horny.net you run into some poor girl that has posted a profile that says she is looking for that one true love of her life. She pours her heart out about what she's seeking in a lifetime partner and hoping to find her Prince Charming on Horny.net. It takes some actual will power to keep from messaging these poor wayward souls and telling them simply to Run. LOL
No doubt, occasionally someone on here finds that special someone and they live happily ever after, but you just have to wonder if they just didn't look the site over well enough before signing up. I saw one girl's profile that was talking about the man she was seeking would have to go to church with her and not use foul language etc., you should read some of the comments that poor thing had on her profile pic... I think she lasted about a week. Do these women not realize this is an adult site, I wonder if there some marketing thing going on to make them believe otherwise? You'd think the wall of Dick pics and fuck videos on the main page would clue them that this isn't EHarmony lol.
16 Comments
Recipe for Failure on Horny.net
Posted:Oct 26, 2018 12:40 pm
Last Updated:Oct 29, 2018 3:51 pm
496 Views

Standard member, can't send or receive messages and unable to read another person's profile. The only picture they have uploaded is a blurry close up shot of a pale erect penis, and on reviewing their profile, the only words they have bothered to type is a brief comment on how horny they are or how long they can immerse themselves in the act of cunnilingus. A brief look at their stats reveal they have declined to respond to some of the questions the site asked them about their sexual preferences and relationship status, no answer at all on marital status. They pop up on the IM with the inevitable 'Hi, how are you?' and then move right into "What are you looking for?" If you respond to this, invariably, they will then proceed to talk shit about either how hot you are or how hard their cocks are, how much they can cum or how awesome they are in the sack...
Folks, this is NOT the best way to present yourself to what little remains of the legitimate swinger community that is left here on Horny.net. We want to know a little about you, we want to see a face picture, or at least a photo that demonstrates some physical qualities other than your throbbing member. We want to know about your experience level with other swingers, about your sexual orientation and your preferences. We want to know that some jealous ass wife of yours isn't going to be trying to kick somebody's ass over her man's poor decision making process. We want to be able to exchange messages with you over THIS platform before we give you any contact information so we know you aren't a fucking serial killer or a stalker waiting to happen.
We want to know that you are serious about meeting and or playing. Upgrade your fucking account, if you can't afford 20 bucks a month, then what do you expect to get from this site? Try dating a real life flesh and blood female on less than 20 bucks a month and see how that goes. Put some effort into your fucking profile, it's not hard and it takes a little thought and time sure, but otherwise you are nothing but a dick pic in an endless sea of dick pics and crude remarks that would probably get you arrested in real life situations. There's real people on here that really meet each other, treat them as such and offer them a view of yourself that says something other than a cheap, cheating, shit talking hard dick that puts about as much effort into their profile as they likely would in the sack.
'Nuff said.
7 Comments
Ayahuasca retreats
Posted:Oct 17, 2018 2:27 pm
Last Updated:Oct 29, 2018 4:06 pm
511 Views

Anybody here ever been to one of those Ayahuasca retreats in South America? They seem a little pricey, but it's something I've always wanted to try... trick is trying to convince the wife it's worth the money lol. Any of you guys had any experience with it?
2 Comments
Prospect or not?
Posted:Oct 7, 2018 1:28 pm
Last Updated:Nov 7, 2018 9:35 am
799 Views

Just had a new neighbor move in, a little older and a bit of an unreformed wild child but very friendly and decent looking. We've met him before and even offered some fun previously but he turned it down, but in two days has already brought it up and didn't seem so sure about it this time
There's an old saying in these parts, "Don't shit in your own backyard." that could apply here, if anything goes south, he's living next door. If it goes well, the prospect of a close by regular bull for the wife is also appealing. We're not big on partying either...We have other prospects, so the wife will get fucked either way
Looking for honest opinions here, not just horny replies and votes.

Advice from the masses?
DO persue it, and let the neighbor fuck the wife.
DON'T persue it, neighbor is too close to home.
5 Comments , 21 votes
Funny Memes
Posted:Sep 28, 2018 9:32 am
Last Updated:Oct 7, 2018 1:30 pm
883 Views
Post em if you got em...
3 Comments
Perception VS Reality
Posted:Sep 7, 2018 11:48 pm
Last Updated:Sep 24, 2018 8:35 am
1386 Views
You see that female or that couple with the hot chick on the IM and you take a shot and message them, saying 'Hi how are you?" and holy shit, they actually respond! You scramble to attach and send your pic just knowing that it will drive the woman into a lustful frenzy and she will be unable to resist her carnal desires that your torrid image will surely inspire deep in her loins.

You send this...


But they see this...

(https://media3.giphy.com/media/t0f9HpYeLwSD6/giphy.gif)

A man cuts on the IM and starts scrolling through the list of women online, knowing his charms are exclusive and desirable.
He thinks...

(https://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/gif/2014/10/jbjab-opt.gif)
A woman cuts on the IM and is immediately greeted with message after message, she thinks...

(https://media.giphy.com/media/thZAUGw8bGkOQ/giphy.gif)

She says she isn't interested, and the man persists knowing that at any moment he will win her over and she will see the light.

He thinks...


She thinks...

(https://i.imgur.com/RJuSdPH.gif)

The underlying problem is simple mathematics...

VS
9 Comments
World War Three or Not?
Posted:Sep 7, 2018 10:56 pm
Last Updated:Oct 11, 2018 1:22 am
1261 Views

The situation in Syria is starting to get really fucked up.
What do you guys think about the possibility of this escalating into another global conflict, i.e. WWIII?
Yes, this will escalate into WWIII.
No, this will blow over eventually.
1 comment , 13 votes
Favorite Retro Porn Films
Posted:Aug 30, 2018 11:18 am
Last Updated:Oct 6, 2018 8:55 am
1474 Views

Curious as to other folks' favorite oldie porn films or stars...
Some of the first ones I ever saw was Devil In Miss Jones 3, 1001 Erotic Nights, and New Wave Hookers. I think Devil In Miss Jones 3 was my favorite of those. Was always a big Ona Zee fan too, she sure was a hottie. Can't really make such a list without a nod to Ginger Lynn.
The wife really enjoyed the German Snow White film, we finally found a subtitled version of it so we could finally understand the dialogue lol. The woman that played the evil queen in that was pretty hot.
18 Comments
Standard Members
Posted:Aug 13, 2018 1:10 pm
Last Updated:Oct 30, 2018 7:06 am
1523 Views

We get utterly swamped with IM's on here, most of them, by far, are free members and looking to hot chat or send a dick pic. It seems a lot of them are looking to get something from nothing to us. Mostly we respond to them, but they seem to be the more pushy and desperate demographic here. They can't view profiles, or send a regular message so for the few remaining real swingers on here it gets tiresome at times with them asking the same questions over and over again.

Wondering how other gold members on here handle that so I thought we'd post a poll and see what comes of it...

Do you think standard members should be allowed to use the IM here on Horny.net?
Yes.
No.
We don't care either way.
3 Comments , 19 votes
Typical IM's
Posted:Aug 10, 2018 12:39 pm
Last Updated:Aug 21, 2018 5:54 am
1543 Views

Hear alot of complaints from single guys about people not replying to Instant Messages on here. We try to respond to all of them, even if it's just to tell them we aren't interested but thought it would be interesting to put up a couple of the 's we've gotten and maybe it will help some of you understand why most folks don't them any attention. If you guys have gotten some you found entertaining, feel free to post them (just leave the Id's out please).

from single male...
"Hey"

Us...
"Howdy"

from single male...
(sends Dick Pic)
You Like?

Us...
"Not really."

from single male...
"Why not?"

Us...
"Cause you just sent a dick pic to a 240lb straight male, we are a couple."
8 Comments
Greetings from Mumbai
Posted:Aug 10, 2018 11:35 am
Last Updated:Aug 24, 2018 12:53 am
1524 Views

Over the last or so there has been a huge influx of members to Horny.net from India. About once every other day or so we get a message or from some tragically overzealous guy in Mumbai or Calcutta wanting to know when he can meet us. Hopefully this post will spare some of those guys the heartache of rejection...

We just don't get to India often. In fact, we're lucky to get out of the house and very rarely out of town so the chances of us dropping everything and jumping on a plane to travel several thousands of miles to a third world country to let some stranger hump the wife are pretty slim. I know that sounds selfish, but in a country with 1.3 billion people in it, surely you guys can find a willing sexual partner a little closer to home, and if you can't then perhaps you should work on your approach. As tempting as it is for us, we have to decline most of the offers, sorry guys.
4 Comments
The Horny.net IM Debacle
Posted:Aug 7, 2018 5:30 am
Last Updated:Aug 13, 2018 1:43 pm
1571 Views

We have been on Horny.net for a long time, since about 1997 when it first started out. The IM has always been a little flakey, but here lately, at least since we've gotten back on it has become pretty much unusable. Every time you switch it to 'On IM' and go to another page on here, it turns itself back to 'Busy'. I've seen it literally switch off all by itself. Are you guys having the same problem or are we maybe having some kind of browser issues?
8 Comments

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Most Recent Comments by Others

Post Poster Post Date
Douche List (70)PAWAPh
Oct 31, 2018 10:56 pm
Looking for love... here? (22)Granny872
Oct 27, 2018 9:12 am
Recipe for Failure on AFF (11)LustingInDeLoops
Oct 26, 2018 3:32 pm
Prospect or not? (6)albl8888
Oct 9, 2018 5:07 am
Favorite Retro Porn Films (28)curious4bothNC
Oct 6, 2018 2:09 am
Perception VS Reality (14)KGcpl4HotFun
Sep 22, 2018 9:24 am
Pain Management is a Joke (5)Letsdoitall2018
Aug 18, 2018 6:11 pm
Standard Members (5)undercover_bi469
Aug 14, 2018 2:15 pm
The AFF IM Debacle (17)kellyskyna
Aug 12, 2018 1:03 am
Typical IM's (11)MoJoMack
Aug 11, 2018 1:08 pm
Getting on the IM (23)MoJoMack
Aug 10, 2018 12:44 pm