Reset Password
If you've forgotten your password, you can enter your email address below. An email will then be sent with a link to set up a new password.
Cancel
Reset Link Sent
If the email is registered with our site, you will receive an email with instructions to reset your password. Password reset link sent to:
Check your email and enter the confirmation code:
Don't see the email?
  • Resend Confirmation Link
  • Start Over
Close
If you have any questions, please contact Customer Service
bicurious blog
 
just blogging about my thoughts of experementing with bisexuality
Keywords | Title View | Refer to a Friend |
newly bi, want to be with men, can't get my mind off women
Posted:Jul 26, 2019 11:51 pm
Last Updated:Mar 28, 2024 11:19 am
5840 Views

a few weeks ago i came to a calm realization i am a bisexual. (i just love typing that so i'll do it again. i am a bisexual. wow!) in other words i came to myself, & had a sense of relief & inner peace about it.
months before that i had given up on women only because i have not had any success with them, & any hope i have had for a long time is consistently in vain. why put myself through all that pain & disappointment? it makes more sense to cut my losses & accept my fate even though i don't like it. it's healthier for me in the long run.
this made my bisexuality more attractive, as i resolved to put all my efforts,& all my attention, on guys. going for guys is now officially in order, i never have, so it's time to explore this with even more urgency!
let's get something straight. not an incel, not bitter towards women. i don't blame women for my failure. bitter toward myself. i blame myself. i don't know why inadequate for women, but i know i am. neither by soliciting a "ur not inadequate" by using that statement nor in any other way am i looking for sympathy. remember i've decided it's better for me to accept i will never be successful with women. it's less stress, less disappointment. in fact it would be better for me if i didn't consider women could be eye candy, sex partners, romantic interests, soul mates, spouses, etc.
but i can't do that. i realize bisexuality can be pretty fluid. i accept that. that's not my problem. my problem is i want to boldly, bravely & with purpose start to explore the same sex. i need to forget about women. u could say i need to be effectively gay for awhile. but i wind up being drawn back to the heartbreak, the beautiful heartbreak, but still a heartbreak. if i miss out on exploring guys, yes, i'll be disappointed, because i would miss out on exploring a certain side of myself. but if i miss out on exploring women, that wound is much deeper. i can't let it go!
it almost sounds like using men to distract me from women. one point i suspected that. but now i want to be very careful not to discredit my bisexuality. i want to believe i have a genuine interest in guys, & i do. two decades of thinking about it should be proof. i have a right to explore this, & a right to enjoy it & for more. & that's what i want on my mind. & i wish i could explain away my awareness of women as comphet, but it's not. it would make my life a little easier. but here i am, really liking women. i'd be happy about that fact if i had any hope in ever realizing that dream.
1 comment
manic when gay/depressed when straight
Posted:Jul 13, 2019 10:23 pm
Last Updated:Mar 28, 2024 11:19 am
5531 Views

before i write anything, i still acknowledge i am a bisexual, and i realize my preferences change overtime. i accept those things, and value bisexuality overall.
now, i've noticed for a long time that whenever more in the mood for someone of the same sex, i tend to be in a manic mood. the thought of being with a guy excites me. this has not been approved very much by society, but dammit i assert my right to find some kind of intimate happiness with a guy, and going to find it can be a great time.
when my preferences lean to the opposite sex, i get depressed and hopeless. yes, in the mood for fun, but i want more. i need more. this is not merely hormones or endorphins talking. it's something fundamentally more. in this mood i realize how lonely i am, how alone i am. i have this deep longing for the most intimate and profound of connections, a longing that, in my mid 40's, afraid i will never fulfill. so yeah, maybe i'll get to fool around with some guys and it will be fun and all, but that joy will pass and i will be left in the end with nothing. and that's what i will live with and die with, nothing.
what the fuck is wrong with me?
0 Comments
how do u start a local sex positive community?
Posted:Jul 4, 2019 8:21 pm
Last Updated:Jul 5, 2019 7:15 am
6732 Views
i'm looking to assemble a local sex positive community, one where the folks are openminded, supportive, kind, considerate, responsible and maybe a little kinky lol. i'm not interested in too much formalities, organization, address, etc., just a group of people who like sex and realize it's something that's real fun to do with others and a good way to connect with others. all kinds of orientations and gender identities would be welcome, and obviously at least tolerated and supported by all. i guess the main goal is to know a group of people u can choose from to have sex with. let's say my friday plans fell through. i could call one or more people i know from the "group" who have a similar philosophy towards sex to see if they're willing and able to meet. if there's enough time beforehand there could be orgies arranged.

but i would also want this to be a kind of support network. sexual problems could be discussed and resolved. or maybe someone isn't looking for advise but a shoulder to cry on. i would like to see genuine care for each other.

but the support wouldn't have to be limited to sexual matters. it could apply to everything. maybe someone needs investment advise. maybe there's a health issue. it would be interesting to see how this would evolve. the possibilities are endless.

also, the purpose of socializing wouldn't necessarily have to have sexual activity as a goal. there could be nonsexual socializing at a bar for instance, or a play. i'm not saying the whole group has to participate. but i would like to see these opportunities available. besides, good sex involves establishing a relationship outside the bedroom too. a well rounded relationship benefits all aspects of the relationship.

i realize there are probably already groups like this, but they tend to revolve around couples (and single females). i don't see a problem people joining in as a couple, but that leaves little room for singles especially males. (i admit my motives as a single male, on top of that one with issues of sexuality, are selfish but far from the only motivation for this.) i want this to be welcoming for anyone who needs it and is willing to contribute. to me this isn't a formal organization. it's more of a movement. i guess there could be something like a website or secret facebook group set up to try to keep the communication in one place. but the point is to have a loose connection of like minded people who come and go as wanted and needed. some kind of sexual and hedonistic utopia.

i might go back to this to modify as my idea of this gets clearer or evolves, or i might add replies to it. i invite everyone to give their opinion on this. let's see where this goes!
2 Comments
i'm gonna concentrate on guys
Posted:Jul 4, 2019 6:04 am
Last Updated:Jul 4, 2019 8:25 pm
6386 Views
lately i've been thinking of quitting thinking about women as much as i possibly can & concentrating on just men for now. right now I got some of my confusion regarding the same sex & despair with the opposite sex.
the thing is, i still dream of meeting the right women. no, it wouldn't be perfect. but we would both put in the effort towards each other that would work & make it a very happy relationship. when i daydream about it, i feel it in my heart. but then reality sets in. i realize i don't have that, & it doesn't look like i ever will. the happy feelings come crashing down.
but when i consider being with guys i'm usually in a better mood overall. if i fail with guys it's not nearly as heartbreaking. i don't feel that longing for a man. but the idea is pretty exotic so it makes thinking about it & planning to pursue it, exciting. it actually gives me more to look forward to. it's kind of like rediscovering sexuality for the first time! so maybe i should give up what seems like futile hope & obsessing, almost punishing myself, with thoughts of the one precious thing i need but i can't have, & apply my energy & efforts to something similar, maybe not as good but with it's own unique charm.
my one concern is if i'm changing goals in order to run away from my problems. going for guys addresses some of my wants & needs, but it doesn't directly bring my ultimate goal. then again i have been spinning my wheels a lot for awhile with this longing/hopelessness. maybe this lack of meaningfulll results is a way of telling me to try a different approach to such things for awhile. maybe i've come to a dead end with women, & accomplishing something along the same sex gender line is something i have to do before i can proceed past that dead end. plus i think i could use an emotional break.
my next concern is how to get this started! there isn't exactly a "new same sex experiances" aisle at the store lol. i've been searching various personals websites for the past several years without success, maybe some of the social networking/swinger type websites might give me some possibilities. hookup websites & apps like adam4adam, tinder & grindr are probably not a good idea. wouldn't it be ironic if i found the right kind of guy here on Horny.net? (oh please please!) it's probably not gonna happen while walking down the street. but u never know. i have to learn to keep my eyes open, & brush up on my gaydar & bi-fi lol.
the last big concern is what do i plan, where do i see this going? i'm not looking to date a guy, but u can probably tell i'm not looking for an anonymous hookup either. i want to establish some kind of relationship with a guy. even if it's just exploration it's still intimate & i can't or won't (if there's really any difference) do this with just anyone. sometimes things just line up right away, but i'm counting on taking time getting to know each other & getting comfortable with each other. i'm open to keep things going as sort of friends with benefit's.
but what if our relationship ends? will i be satisfied with the amount of experiance up until that point? i suppose i could plan to resume my search without much problem if i feel i must still go on. hopefullly in such a situation the "breakup" would be on good terms. but if it's not so good there could be some damage control to look into in order for me to proceed & probably other things.
& what if the relationship, despite what we agree to going into it, goes in the opposite direction? what if my guy falls in love with me? or, & this is the most difficult question i have ever asked, i find it hard to type it or even think it, what if i fall in love with him? it probably won't happen but shit happens & i think it's smart at least to be aware of it. to say this would blow my mind would be an understatement. it took me about two decades to work against my heteronormativity & internalized homophobia in order to allow myself the idea of certain things with members of the same sex. i'm not ready to cross completely over & have a man be everything to me that i've always imagined & dreamed for almost 35 years (assuming puberty at about 12-13) a women would be.
but watch me completely change my tune in ten minutes. i see overall trends in these thoughts but they are not exactly consistent. oh well...
wow, i've written a lot! i didn't mean to write a book & i understand if u just not gonna read it. but if u read it & we ever meet face to face i promise to kiss u on the cheek in gratitude if u want. if u give advise or support i'll take u out to dinner. if u say something nasty i'll make dinner for u, that should be enough punishment. xd
1 comment
omg i've got a crush on a guy!
Posted:Jun 2, 2019 4:06 am
Last Updated:Mar 28, 2024 11:19 am
6575 Views

as u guys might or might not know i'm still exploring my homosexual side so i'm still confused & unsure. well i saw an add from several states away from a guy. it says he's focusing on his "rainbow side" at this point of his life. something about how he put that immediately got my attention. of course it doesn't hurt he has a handsome face, great longish hair & a hot slim body. i wrote a reply to him admitting i've got a crush on him but not expecting anything from him because i'm probably not his type. i also wished him goodluck having great experiances with guys.

it felt so weird admitting these feelings to him or even to myself but it also felt so liberating. i guess my sexual evolution is going forward!
0 Comments
pride parade fantasy
Posted:May 24, 2019 9:17 am
Last Updated:Aug 1, 2019 10:19 pm
6544 Views

pride week is coming up. i have a fantasy i'm walking in the pride parade with another guy. everybody sees me walking with this other guy waving to the crowd hand in hand. oh yeah we're both naked. we take a few kiss breaks along the way. at the end we put a rainbow flag on the grass & make love to each other while the crowd cheers us on in support. i know very inappropriate & it would probably get us arrested. but wouldn't it be a helluva way to celebrate pride?
1 comment
back to bi
Posted:May 9, 2019 12:57 am
Last Updated:Mar 28, 2024 11:19 am
6427 Views

i haven't felt any attractions to the same sex for months but lately it's coming back, which is cool because i like to have my options. i honestly thought those feelings would go away at least significantly this time, but as with every other time this has happened, they came back. but still there isn't any experiance to backup these feelings so in a way they are invalidated untill i have some.
not really looking for advise or support on this. just needed to share. maybe by sharing i can be helpfull to someone else in some way. i accept my sexuality can be unpredictable which makes it interesting. i kinda enjoy the journey though it's too bad i've been on this journey alone so far.
0 Comments
act right chair
Posted:Apr 28, 2019 8:35 pm
Last Updated:May 1, 2019 4:20 am
6804 Views
i have seen a picture of something called the "act right chair." in case u don't know, it's a chair with a back but with enough space the back to put ur head thru the back. u put ur head through it from the front, someone ties ur hands to the front legs of the chair, & ties ur legs to the back of the chair. oh yeah ur naked too so ur putting urself there with ur ass in the air.
the picture is with a women but there's no reason it couldn't be me! i would love to be tied tight & intricately to that chair, unable to move. my ass totally vulnerable to a bunch of horny guys taking turns fucking the shit of . reducing to a sex object for the same sex.
i looked up the word set right, it means something like doing something to calm someone down. usually means the person is on themselves & they need to be put in there place, but it also has the meaning for the person who needs a good stiff fucking to calm down. me getting fucked for hours unable to move from it sounds like a great fantasy. i don't know if i'd really go for it & if i did i would really have to trust everyone involved. but it does sound like a fun fantasy & it makes me happy.
2 Comments
my mood lately
Posted:Feb 23, 2019 10:17 am
Last Updated:Mar 28, 2024 11:19 am
6847 Views

hope it's ok to post this here, just wanted to share my fantasy. right now i'm in the mood to be a sexslave to a bunch of guys. somehow i wind up with a bunch of guys. they make me take all my cloths off.there i am completely naked & vulnerable among a bunch of guys with all their cloths on. 1 by 1 i makeout with each guy as a way to get introduced & to be comfortable with every guy, as other guys randomly touch me & feel me up & lick me all over! i can't take it anymore i get down on my knees & undo 1 guy's pants. i stare at his boner it's so beautifull & mesmerizing! as i put it in his mouth i gaze deeply in his eyes. it feels so right in my mouth. before long i'm bobbing up & down on his dick like a chickenhead lol. another guy comes up behind me & lubes up my ass. i know this is a sign of what's to cum & the thought makes me so excited! slowly all the cloths drop & i feel a cock running between my buttcheeks. the tip stops at my hole & very slowly my guy enters me. each inch hurts a little but it's a good hurt. he leaves it inside me for a few seconds. i get use to feeling a guy's hard dick deep in my ass & it feels great to be filled! he pulls my head away from the other guy's cock, turns it around & replaces that cock with his tongue. because now the act is more intimate our kiss is more passionate. it's more than just fucking me. i return to my other cocksucking while he gently starts to pump me. they both leave there cum in me & 2 more groups of guys use me in that position. i move the cum all over inside my mouth before i swallow it. i am left with an awesome taste in my mouth. a guy grabs me & turns me over face up. i willingly & eagerly put my legs on his shoulders, instinctively knowing what he wants to do to me, and wanting it myself just as bad. he takes me in the missionary position. gives it to me good! i grab at random cocks & stroke them as i'm getting done in ecstasy. 2 or 3 guys stand over my face stroking themselves ending in jizz all over my face. some winds up in my hair. leave in conditioner lol. other guys take there turns at the other end enjoying me. by this time i don't need lube, there is so much cum in my ass it's doing a great job lubing me up for these guys. plus i'm pretty loostened up (in more ways than 1!!) so much so a guy lays down beside me cock pointing straight up. i get up & sit on it facing away from him, reverse cowgirl. or cowboy in this case i guess. another guy comes up in front of me & manages to squeeze his dick in me too. the guy's eyes look with wonder, awe & lust as they see me getting double fucked!
i get passed around from guy to guy, or more often from guys to guys all nite. by morning i'm a little achy & thoroughly exhausted physically mentally & emotionally. i've had alot on my mind lately & i really needed this done to me! the guys all express how much they like me & how much fun they had with me. i also say how much i like them & how i enjoyed being there bitch. with a big grin on my face. we have established an odd but deep friendship & get togather from time to time to blow off some steam (& some dicks lol) & enjoy some hot sex only a few understand & few more experiance.
but that's not the only thing. this experiance teaches me, same sex pleasure is really ok. this over the top experiance submitting sexually to multiple guys at the same time got me over my fears & hangups about gay sex. now my gaydar is sharp! i pickup on sexual energy from my male friends, neighbors & coworkers. some of them are open to some fun & i sleep around casually with them. i start to pickup guys at the store & on the street too! sometimes we wind up doing it after only meeting for 10 minutes! i wind up having several fwb's & 1 nite stands with strangers. i finally accept, welcome & embrace being a total slut, it's so liberating & enjoyable!!!!
0 Comments
how do u deal?
Posted:Jan 13, 2019 5:59 pm
Last Updated:Mar 28, 2024 11:19 am
6635 Views

how do u deal if u feel dating is not possible for u? i don't mean in an incel way, but there's something wrong with urself. what do u do? how do u keep moving on?
0 Comments
my attraction to the sexes
Posted:Jan 12, 2019 7:16 am
Last Updated:Mar 28, 2024 11:19 am
6694 Views

i'd like to share how i'm attracted to both sexes. i'm not asking for advise though i am open to respectfull feedback.
as many of u might know i'm still pretty unsure of my attraction to the same sex, so what i feel is based on theory & fantasy definately not experiance. so what i feel is i would like to be a sex object for guys almost like a fetish. i would like to make myself available for them & know they have pleasure because of it. although i'm looking for some kinda connection i'm not interested in much outside of the experiance.
with women i wanna be much more active. i wanna get inside a women's mind, learn what makes her tick & make her tick with more life, energy, pleasure, happiness. i'm driven to do whatever i have too to make her happy on many levels. i also crave a much deeper emotional connection, something that goes beyond what we percieve in the moment. there is more i wanna offer but i also want that back in some way too. i want it to be something we are a part of togather whether it involves a commitment or we happen to meet for a short time.
0 Comments
fantasy vs experiance
Posted:Jan 2, 2019 4:32 pm
Last Updated:Mar 28, 2024 11:19 am
6758 Views

the question has come up, is the fantasy meant to be realized or, is it meant to stay a fantasy? i've never been with a guy but it's been on my mind for years. it's been a big part of my fantasies for that time. i guess u can look at it as, how far do i wanna go? is just fantasizing about it enough or do i really think about the idea so highly, the next natural step is to go for it? which i guess is a fair question.

but, here's another question, what happens after i go for it? i've had these fantasies for so long they feel like a part of me. kinda give me comfort. once i realize them & experiance them for real the fantasies no longer exist, it's something i would loose. which is fine i guess if i find out from experiance i like being with guys, & i have enough opportunities to be with guys. but what happens if i don't like the experiance? if i hate it? if i loath it? if i feel repused? then the fantasy can never be used by me ever again & i'm left with nothing. yes there would be relief after years of torturing myself with curiosity. years when i was younger, more resiliant & more virile. but i would be emptier because the fantasies would be overshadowed by the grim realization it's not something i'd like.

i'm not talking about having a bad experiance like sleeping with a jerk or running out of lube. i could easily enough chalk it up to experiance but still know i could have a better experiance under better circumstances--a more suitable guy(s), a more private area, a better nite's sleep. i'm also not really talking about feeling guilty afterwards either. though that's another question, i guess if i kept doing it i would get over any guilt.

i'm talking about just not liking it. the fantasy looses it's power. do i then withdraw more from society? do i spiral out of control desparately & haphazzardly looking for meaning in my life? does my confusion grow so i miss opportunites to learn & be happy, or are things clearer to me than they have been for years? if so what do i see? what do i cling to? what do i aspire to? am i now able to be successful with seeking the right member of the opposite sex & establishing a healthy, joyfull relationship with her, or am i plunged even deeper in the hole of incompetence that drains most of the joy out of my life?
0 Comments
why are my sme sex fantasies usu submissive?
Posted:Dec 19, 2018 9:09 pm
Last Updated:Dec 20, 2018 4:38 am
6835 Views

why i usually subamissive in amy same sex fantasies & often very subamissive? totally not into the idea of huamiliation or excessive pain. but like the guy being in control of ame. tying ame up so i can't amove or resist his amoves, or to amake it easier for hiam to do certain things to ame. blindfolding ame so i don't see what he's about to do, cutting off 1 of amy senses & the ability to judge things around ame. gagging ame so i loose amy amain way of expressing amyself to hiam, silencing amy voice. so amy voice doesn't amatter. being on the receiving end of hiam letting out his sexual frustrations, exhausting ame & leaving ame drained. having same of his friends watch so other people know about amy subamission & vulnerability. hiam inviting those friends to enjoy ame too. hiam amaking it clear to ame he's in control of ame & i'am choosing to give that control to hiam. hiam testing the liamits of that control, challenging ame. why does this all appeal to ame?
now that i think about it there's a little bit amore to the question. how amuch of this fantasy am i willing & ameant to try in real life? i know it's a tough question & i definately don't expect an answer. it's samething i have to workout amyself. but insites are definately appreciated
0 Comments

To link to this blog (sysper) use [blog sysper] in your messages.

  sysper 50M
50 M
July 2019
Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
  1
 
2
 
3
 
4
2
5
 
6
 
7
 
8
 
9
 
10
 
11
 
12
 
13
1
14
 
15
 
16
 
17
 
18
 
19
 
20
 
21
 
22
 
23
 
24
 
25
 
26
1
27
 
28
 
29
 
30
 
31
 
     

Recent Visitors

Visitor Age Sex Date