"don't do anything i wouldn't do"
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Posted:May 5, 2006 5:47 am
Last Updated:May 6, 2006 7:02 am
2954 Views
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one of my neighbors is about 80 years old. nice guy but a little gruff. oday, as i was off for my morning limp, he called after me, "dont do anything i wouldn't do"
i turned around, grinned and said "well that leaves it wide open then"
he laughed so hard i was afraid he was going to fall over
when i got home from my walk, he had left me a bunch of lilacs in an old jar. the smell is glorious. life is glorious. and the day is shaping up very nicely
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kiss my proverbial...........
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Posted:May 5, 2006 5:37 am
Last Updated:May 6, 2006 7:04 am
3074 Views
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ever had a friend that only called when they needed something?
a man who never called for three weeks and then calls and says can i come over, i'm horny?
a colleague who tells you one thing and runs you down to others?
a who forgets that a thank you or a hug can make all the work and worry worth it?
ever just feel like there isn't a single person out there who gives a good god damn? like your guardian angel went out for a smoke?
if you have, then you know what it feels like.
and i bet there's at least one person in your life who could stand a phone call, a gesture of support
do it
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power...........or the lack thereof
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Posted:May 3, 2006 3:00 pm
Last Updated:May 4, 2006 3:16 pm
3112 Views
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i sat in a room with 15 men last night. the only woman on the council - the only woman in the room other than the secretary.
a draft of the council's report was being reviewed and we were supposed to be discussing the issues, commenting on whether or not we agreed with the consultant's rendition of our 6 months of endless committee meetings.
after the read through - the consultant asked for comments - no one said anything so i jumped in - mentioned a few things that i didn't agree with, some changes in language, nothing all that incendiary.
one of the council muttered "bitch" under his breath and that end of the table all started to laugh. i asked what was so amusing - that all of us could stand a laugh at this point.
silence
but the thing that hurt, was that no one, not a single person called this idiot on his unprofessional manner.
why?
power......he has it and we don't.
i thought about standing up and leaving. i could feel tears starting. but i sat there.
and waited. then i waited some more - the whole time looking straight at this man.
elanor roosevelt said that no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
it must have been at least 2 minutes before he muttered - "just joking".
my response was "a sense of humor is a very particular thing, isn't it?"
the meeting continued but i reckon at that moment the power shifted and the "big-man" looked a lot less important - to everyone.
my training as a submissive was critical in those few minutes. control. acuity. presence.
and quiet, cordial acknowledgment of the idiot's quote unquote apology.
all in all - i think that it was one for the home team
grins
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stung.................
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Posted:May 1, 2006 3:14 pm
Last Updated:Mar 14, 2007 1:52 pm
3230 Views
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i called my Sir to see how he was feeling. i hate it that he is so far from home and not well.
he spent a few minutes telling me about his night and i said "oh baby, you need to get out of there"meaning only that he needs to be home.
he snapped, "that is not helpful at all"
"i'm sorry"
"then why do you keep saying it?"
well, that was the only time i said it, and my intent was to support. and i know men don't do "ill" all that well, but geeze.
tears sprang to my eyes and i got off the phone quickly.
it is so easy for Him to hurt me - a look, a sigh, a sneer. and this is where i find being his submissive so damn difficult. 'cause what i WANT to do is tell Him to go fuck himself, and i want to run away and cry and be all mad and hurt and righteously bitter.
i won't tho. i will spend an hour or so allowing myself the luxury of being pissed off. and then, i will let it go.
why?
why not? was it his intent to hurt me? or was he just edgy because he is ill? i must presume a positive intent from him always. otherwise i would not be able to surrender to him, to cede control. without that trust, there is no submission - just kinky sex. (mind you, i'm not putting down kinky sex in any way - grins)
i asked a friend who is a Dom to explain what it feels like for Him to use his lady. read NightGuy_1961's blog - he will amaze you with his insight and his openness. He says it makes him drunk with power. and that that power bears enormous responsibility. Intent.
i know my Sir. i know he loves me. and that it is not his intent to hurt me.
i will let it go..............but not yet.
......i still have 37 minutes left to be pissy
grins
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from my desk....
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Posted:Apr 30, 2006 8:22 am
Last Updated:May 3, 2006 3:15 pm
3343 Views
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i look into the branches of a maple tree and am watching the tiny leaves begin to form. if i look down to the street, there are usually a few playing and the sound of their voices and the laughter drifts up to me. i can see neighbors working in their yards, and Dick's lilac bush beginning to flower.
my Charlie is lying on the chair behind me, the sun shining off his fur, making the occasional chuff just to remind me he is there. a little statue from my sister is on the corner of my desk - it says friends forever - and we are. an invitation to a wedding shower for my niece, my scheduling book and a basket filled with bills on the other side.
it's Sunday so the bells from the church up the road are ringing and i can hear the cheers from the park soccer game.
a wren has decided to build a nest in my eave and i see her busily flying back and forth with small twigs and the cardinals who nest in my pear tree every year are singing to each other.
soon i will call my One but at this moment, i am simply being and struck by all the signs and sounds of life surrounding me.
"wholly to be alive"
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judging
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Posted:Apr 29, 2006 7:35 pm
Last Updated:May 3, 2006 3:03 pm
3321 Views
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why do people think they have the right?
who made them god?
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sisterfriends
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Posted:Apr 29, 2006 2:03 pm
Last Updated:May 2, 2006 8:40 am
3236 Views
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a lot of women are already nodding. if you have a sisterfriend - you are one lucky lady. i have a number of them. friends who rapidly transcended the friend category and became family - someone you can call at 3 AM, someone who won't yell at you when you're down but WILL yell at you when you need to hear some home truths.
*a SF remembers the names of all the people you love and loves them because you love them.
*a SF knows your secrets and never tells
*a SF will sit with you for hours and analyze a situation, then start all over again and keep at it until YOU are done
*a SF knows how you like your coffee, your favorite color and will tell you when your new haircut looks god-awful
*a SF will hunt down anyone who hurts you and tell them what a bloody fool they are
SFs aren't created, can't be molded - but you know them in your heart after the first five minutes of talking - and they grow with you, feel with you, know all the icky bits and still think you are some kind of wonderful
today one of my SFs is hurting - so i am hurting and so are my other SFs - that's just the way it works
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death
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Posted:Apr 29, 2006 7:41 am
Last Updated:Apr 29, 2006 5:26 pm
3190 Views
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this last week i have been surrounded by death. one of my dear friends lost his father and i drove to the funeral - needed to see his eyes and know he was okay - he is - strong and clear and tending to his .
one of my guests at shelter died in his sleep and there is no one to claim this 80 year old man who had such pride and such a strong spirit. the shelter will claim him and honor him for what he did, for how he chose at the age of 76 to get clean and sober. to pick up the pieces fo his life and make a last stand that he could look at with pride.
one of my best galpals is home this weekend after spending a month with her sister who is dying of cancer and she's headed back next week - i am impressed by her srength and know that her sister is in the best of hand.
and now, as i age, i look at my Mom and my Aunties and know that there will be more to face in the near future. losing someone you love is always hard, and yet i find i am curiously at peace with this.
and it is spring and life abounds.
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alone..............
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Posted:Apr 28, 2006 5:21 pm
Last Updated:Apr 30, 2006 6:48 am
3182 Views
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my Sir will not return tonight - not until tuesday and then i will be in the middle of my work week
i will spend another week alone
i am so tired
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DOH
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Posted:Apr 28, 2006 6:27 am
Last Updated:May 2, 2006 11:10 am
3115 Views
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imeltedmyspacebarwithmyhairdryerafterispiltwineonthedamnkeyboard
backwhenigetitfixed
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asia
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Posted:Apr 26, 2006 8:54 am
Last Updated:Apr 27, 2006 1:58 pm
3372 Views
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about half an hour ago, i noticed a beautiful husky pup wandering around my neighbor's yard. i called the police to see if there was a report on her but nothing. they were going to send the officer but i decided not to wait.
i called her and she came, so friendly and sweet and very eager to get up into my house. now, Charlie, he's my wasn't all that happy to have company but he was a good host, showed her where the water was and then trailed behind her as she sniffed around.
she had tags with the owners name and number so i called and her owner was surprised that she was not in the fenced yard where he left her. he was here in about five minutes and i was formally introduced to asia.
she has figured out how to release her c clamp with her teeth (something i have yet to learn - grins) and slip her leash but apparently now she has also figured out how to open the gate.
Ed, her owner, is considering changing her name to houdini
most appropriate
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deja vu all over again
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Posted:Apr 23, 2006 7:54 am
Last Updated:Apr 24, 2006 12:21 pm
3203 Views
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a yogi berra comment but apt for me today
i posted that a blog disappeared
well, today it reappeared and i had already posted it again
so i have hidden one - and now wait to see if the first post decides to stick around - grins
thinks someone is fucking with me - scratches head and goes off to the airport
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wtf??
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Posted:Apr 22, 2006 6:24 am
Last Updated:Apr 30, 2006 8:48 am
3395 Views
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i posted to this blog last week - a piece about the beginning of my bisexuality
a couple of people commented -
and then - WHAMMM
it's gone
where did it go?
and why?
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To link to this blog (wickedeasy) use [blog wickedeasy] in your messages.
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