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FAKING IT!   by Kate Rose

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I’ve had a lot of sex. It’s a great thing really. If you think about it, it’s a wonderful way to relax and unwind, to fall asleep if you have trouble sleeping, or even just to take your mind off of some stressor in your life. I’ve never been the type to regard sex as dirty; to me its plain and simple gratification, the same way a piece of expensive chocolate is. (Of course sex is infinitely better than chocolate.)

But what do we all strive for when it comes to sex? Why the big O, most certainly, that cosmic force that can’t be reckoned with. In the throes of orgasm, the world could be falling down around us and we would hardly notice. Which brings me to my point; why, if orgasms are so to die for, do we women fake them?

If you ladies out there are still doing this, read on. It wasn’t too long ago that I realized I needed to break that bad habit as well. I was one of those orgasmic late bloomers who'd had sex quite a few times before actually having an orgasm. So I had the art of faux orgasm -- faking it -- down to a science. Now don’t get me wrong -- the thrashing, the humping, the cock riding were still enjoyable, but in all those fun rides, I had never experienced a true orgasm from actual penetration.

It all started when I was with this guy who, upon hindsight, was pretty much hung like a horse, although at the time I didn’t realize it. He had this lean, hungry body and a sexual appetite to match. But sad to say, all of it was to waste; he was a terrible lover. We would get together and he would pound the hell out of me. I’m not talking regular, sweet and loving sex; I'm talking jack hammer action and a bulldozer full of pent up emotions, with the construction site being my poor little pussy. We shook walls with our sex, and here's the catch: I felt that because it was so intense I should be able to come. Shouldn't I? It wasn’t happening.

So, I faked it. If those walls were shaking just with the fucking I was receiving they came down with the orgasm I let loose upon the world. It’s a funny thing; as much as I thought he didn’t need me there other than to have a hole to fill and fuck, he sure as hell came within seconds of my faker. That's all the encouragement I needed. "So," I mused to myself, "there’s some power here in faking it." (Though in retrospect, maybe he was holding his come until I had mine). See, I’m telling you; faking it’s a bad habit. And that was just the beginning.

When a guy went down on me, more often than not I found myself faking orgasms. Cunnilingus the right way is heaven on earth. (And for any of you out there whose man refuses to lick you where it counts, you need to stop licking him where it counts until he does the same and does it right. But I digress, back to the story:)

Most of the guys I’ve been with have been pretty hot; I’m shallow, what can I say? But beauty doesn’t always bring along with it some innate ability to eat pussy. I’ve had a guy eat me out for hours and still not reach that pinnacle point of release. For me, I need some penetration. Actually if you lick and suck me with a steady rhythm and plunge your finger (or two) in and out of me I could probably come in minutes. But not all guys do this. And until a while ago I was never very vocal about my wants, so they never knew either. Somehow it doesn't come naturally to be so instructive to a guy in the heat of action.

From my experience, a lot of guys seem to think that if they suck and lick all over your lips, your legs, and shove a tongue in your pussy, you should be able to come. To me, that’s just the foreplay. If you really want to get me going, you need to expend a little effort. Give me a tongue that won’t stop. But -- and here's the key -- keep it focused on the right places, namely my clit, which will sit up and beg for the attention. If he combines the Energizer tongue with a finger or two plunging in and out of me, hitting my g-spot on the withdraw, he's got himself a nice quivering bowl of orgasm right there to lap up.

What you don’t want is for your partner to think that he is making you come when he’s far, far from that point. When you're working on a guy, he has no problem telling you, "Yeah baby, keep doing that." So why can’t we ladies do the same thing? My last encounter with faking it was when I decided that I needed to be more vocal and let this hottie between my legs know when he was or wasn’t eating me out to my satisfaction. He was making all the right moves, licking and sucking with gusto, but he was dancing from one technique to another way too fast, and I wasn’t able to enjoy the feelings long enough to build towards an orgasm. So, when he hit upon a way that I did like, I moaned out, “Oh yeah, like that.” It was just that easy. And what do you know, there it was, the ever elusive big O.

Sounds simple right? It should be if we communicate to our partners. What we do when we fake an orgasm, when we buck and groan and go through our entire orgasm drama, is communicate the wrong thing. We tell men that they are great in bed, when in reality they aren’t. Scores of men walking around right now thinking that they are God’s Gift To Women, are more like that gift you keep re-giving because you have no need for it. And without honesty, you're just setting yourself up to receive an endless supply of sexual Cuisinart. For the sake of your men and yourselves (not to mention the rest of us who inherit these recycled gifts), give up the faked orgasm!

I’ve since reformed my ways and am no longer an orgasm faker. It’s all about the communication, about getting over shyness, about speaking up for what you like. So break that bad habit and spread the word, and the men walking around thinking they are sex gods, might actually become so. Then it's open wide sisters and enjoy the miracles!