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Restorative Kindness
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Restorative Kindness Many years ago, back when I was still single and dating, I met a young woman named Dani. She had recently extricated herself from a physically and emotionally abusive relationship. As you can imagine, she was wounded and desperate heal. A part of gravitates towards pain and she was a blinding beacon in the darkness. After a few dates, we found ourselves lazing around, enjoying downtime and friendly company. We got to talking and her story began to pour out. The details remain priv but her agony resonated with , and I held her through tears. Shortly after, I shared some of my own pain, breaking down in her arms. Dani understood me, and I her. Those minutes hurt, but damn if they weren’t outstandingly beautiful. Later that night, we spent time the couch and began nod off. Dani snuggled into my chest while my arms held her tight. We were both terribly cozy, but each time she began to fall asleep, she would startle awake with a small yelp. The first few times she was terribly embarrassed. But I understood. She couldn’t fully relax, especially with a man, because of her past. So I stroked her hair and whispered things like, “You’re safe” and, “Everything is ok”. Eventually, she fell asleep while I remained awake thinking over the day. Even after a decade, that memory powerfully resonates with me. It was beyond special, and showed me how just a small amount of kindness can heal not only someone else, but yourself. It also taught me that even the deepest pain, the worst sadness, can cultivate stunning moments. ... and Dani, if you’re out there, I hope you’re ridiculously happy. You deserve nothing less. |
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